In typical fashion, I am only just aware of the most recent adjunct American Idol phenomenon, which, as all of you already know, is a song called "Pants On the Ground" by an older guy named Larry Platt, who futiley sang this original tune as an audition for the competition.

According to the latest figures of this viral clip, only seven people in the world have not seen and been amused by this tune — and all seven of them are trapped on K2.

(The good news about the K2 situation is that three of the folks trapped near the summit in a blizzard are the members of Rush, who have agreed to sing all of side two of Farewell to Kings for their fellow ice-prisoners as sonic compensation for not experiencing the Pants song.)

As we all learned years back on American Idol, virtually any nut that appears there can score some sort of career out of the experience. The first person who comes to mind is Barbara Streisand. Remember how much she sucked on American Idol? Ditto Eve Cassidy. Watch Cassidy's Idol audition here, where she butchered "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and Simon Cowell and that Randy guy who calls everyone "Dawg" laughed her into the street behind the studio. She wept and crawled home like an abandoned child.

And so what can we expect will happen to Larry Platt in the wake of "Pants On the Ground"?

Here are some of the rumors we’re hearing in the entertaiment press:

-- Don Henley and Platt will team on a Subway commercial with another super-talent, that Jared guy. (By the way, Jared's autobiography reminds me of Churchill's.)

-- Gangstas across the country have put an open $50,000 hit on Platt because his "Pants" song is an indictment of hip-hop fashion. "I’m worried about Platt," said newly elected Massachusetts senator Scott P. Brown. "That dude’s flying under a black flag."

-- Platt was originally asked to sing "Oh Canada" at the start of the upcoming winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. Somehow, that situation progressed and Platt is now America’s premiere athlete in the ski jump competition.

-- Simon Cowell and Platt are joining a Styx tribute band.