Tonight, after another episode of Lost leaves me tormented, gnashing my teeth and reaching for my Bible for answers, I will downshift by watching the debut episode of Food Wars on the Travel Channel (10 p.m.). Supposedly the show will fan the flames of heated neighborhood rivalries by trying to settle some of life's great culinary questions like, Who makes the best Buffalo wings in Buffalo? The show's rather foxy host, Camille Ford, will travel the USA egging folks on as they talk trash and eat to excess.

I can't wait. Food Wars promises to carry on the trend of hypercompetitive food shows that celebrate eating—often in unhealthy and arguably dysfunctional ways—as much as cooking. The show fits neatly with other Travel Channel favorites that glorify gluttony, including No Reservations, Bizarre Foods, and Man vs. Food, which TV blogger Elissa Bass praised in a recent post. If you watch Food Wars, let us know what you think.

Speaking of wars and food and TV, a tiny Mystic bakery is competing for a chance to be featured on the Food Network's Cupcake Wars. According to an article in the Mystic River Press, Li's Bake Shop on Holmes Street caught the attention of the show's producers and, if it makes the cut, could compete on TV soon. Good luck to owner Lisa Arsenault.

Thank you to another Mystic business for helping me settle yet another food fight—the Gyro War. Occasionally foodies quibble over how to order the popular Mediterranean pita sandwich known as the gyro. The issue came up one day at work recently, in fact. It seems as if most Americans insist on pronouncing this word as "jye-roh," rhymes with "pie-roh."

Years ago, when I asked the owner of one Greek restaurant who shall remain nameless, he told me he just uses "jye-roh" because it's easier than correcting the 99.9 percent of his customers who pronounce it wrong. But for the record, to settle this here and now, the word is pronounced more like "year-oh" or, better yet, "yee-roh." Have a listen. Problem is, if you order a gyro this way, you get looked at cross-eyed by the teenager behind the counter, and, I don't know about you, but that just tests my patience.

Anyway, I called Vivian Torregrossa, owner of the popular Mystic eatery The Pita Spot, who offered an excellent solution. Just avoid the problem altogether, she said, by eating the Middle Eastern alternative—the shawarma—instead.

I'm not going to get into the exact differences between gyros and shawarmas—ground pressed meat or sliced meat, lamb or beef, tahini or tzatziki, Lebanon or Greece or New York City—because, frankly, I don't understand them myself. Let the purists fight over that one—you know, those among us who worry about how to pronounce their food. Food war or no war, as long as it tastes good, who cares?

**UPDATE: After watching the first episode of Food Wars tonight, I am impressed. True, it's a little corny and too noisy, a lot like Man vs. Food, but watching Camille Ford eat is a whole lot easier on the eyes than watching Adam Richman try to keep his 13th millkshake down. Most of all, though, give the show credit for having the rocks to take sides. It was pretty cool to see them risk offending the losers by actually declaring winners in each contest, the Buffalo wings war and the second segment on Italian beef sandwiches in Chicago. I could do without the silly pageant queen on each taste-test panel, and I had to wonder if the losers considered tearing the tiara from atop her head.

One small complaint: The guy who said he's been eating the Anchor Bar's Buffalo wings for like 33 years was dead wrong when he said eating flat wings is messier than eating the drums. My redneck friends taught me years ago how to pop the bone right out of the flat wings in two swift movements, leaving behind nothing but one fatty fried hunk of meat ready to dip in the dressing and devour in one bite, neat as can be. C'mon, has he really been eating these things for 33 years?!

Bottom line: Food Wars left me starving for Buffalo wings. The best around here, by the way, are the "XTRA hot" at C.C. O'Brien's in Pawcatuck.