In terms of free-range employment of foreign grammar symbols in rock band nameage, why is the umlaut so much more popular than the slashed O— Ø, that is — or even the upside-down "v" thingy like what I'm placing over this û?

(I believe this is known, to those familiar with diacritical glyphs, as "the upside-down 'v' thingy.")

The first time I remember seeing the umlaut in this context was Blue Öyster Cult (about whom I must again say: do not overlook or ridicule this band based on underwhelming hits such as "Godzilla" or the pleasantly poppy "(Don't Fear) the Reaper." Their first three, pre-mainstream albums, Blue Öyster Cult, Tyranny and Mutation and Secret Treaties, remain masterworks for any age).

Grammatically, though, would they have come to acceptance sooner in their career if they'd eschewed the umlaut and instead opted for a slashed O?

Blue Øyster Cult? Or if they'd thrown an upside-down "v" thingy in? Blûe Oyster Cûlt?

Who cares?

I do think it was lazy of all the umlaut-users who followed the BÖC — such as Motörhead, Queensrÿche and Hüsker Dü, for example — none of whom bothered to think of their own grammatical devices. The ragingly violent black metal duo WHAM!, for example, went with all caps and and explanation point. Not bad, dudes!

Sometimes, we in Journalism Land seem confused over whether KISS was all caps or just Kiss — but in either case they didn't include the exclamation point or even a question mark. Besides, they just didn't rock like WHAM!

Looking back, I wish some of the more sensitive artists would have come up with the free-range grammatical devices — or perhaps the hardcore honky tonkers. Think how much better the concert t-shirts would look if they appeared:

Thê Carpêntêrs

Simøn & Garfunkel

LÖRETTA LYNN!

Or, maybe best of all:

The Stinkin' Mørmøn Tabernacle Chøir*

* "Stinkin'" isn't actually part of their real name. I added it as a sort of "word as punctuation mark" device which takes the whole idea to a new level. The asterisk isn't part of their real name, either, or even part of my work on their name. Instead, it was added so you would look down and see another asterisk and then read this explanation.