Yes, I'm slow, old and stupid.

But I'm even slower, older and … more stupid? Stupider? Dumb-ass-ey? than I was even in April.

Take for example the fine music-topic exercise my pal Peter Huoppi placed before me a few weeks back. Simply expressed: what's the greatest "first song" on any album ever?

Peter and I were driving around, working on one of our videos — if you must know, the one starring those three female triplets from Hustler — and we often discuss music because music is fun.

Frankly, "greatest lead-off song ever" is a ludicrously tall order — or is it? Huoppi calmly ticked off "About a Kid" from Rustic Overtones' Long Division album and succinctly analyzed such things as racuous drum beat, establishment of mood and anticipation for the rest of the CD, and the percentage of times he's been drunk and "whooped" at live Rustic Overtones performances — in every state in New England — when the band actually played the song. It was in the hundreds, if I remember correctly.

But I grew more irritated at how quickly Huoppi was able to identify one lead off song and then calmly move on, secure and calm in the certainty of his selection.

Meanwhile, it's been two weeks and I've thought about it and thought about it, going over in my mind the hundreds or even thousands of albums I've listened to and the admittedly high number of outstanding kick-off tracks. After all, for purposes of making an immediate impression, the first tune on an album is distinctly important. (Don't tell me you haven't marvelled over the genius of Gentle Giant in placing "The Advent of Panurge" at the start of Octopus.)

Well, it finally hit me yesterday as I watched the final round of the Players Championship. The greatest first-song ever — the one that had the most profound influence over where my life would go from that point — is "I Feel Free" from the Fresh Cream album. That initial burst of jazz guitar chord followed by the odd a capella section and then the fluid and dream-ride harmonies ... Here: listen to it now.

It's nuts, is what it is. Stinkin' great and wild and, for my 10-year-old ass back in 1966 when it came out, it was so different and cool that my head exploded like a grape. I mean, chances are good I'd just heard Glen Campbell or something on Ed Sullivan and then this happened. Even though I had Beatles and Stones albums at that point, nothing had remotely prepared me for "I Feel Free."

What about you guys?